Timing Is Everything, Right?

By Elyse Russell

“Quick, in the port-a-potty!” 

The young couple scrambled inside and shut the door behind them. Outside, they could  hear the bear snuffling through their picnic and grunting. 

“Can bears tip these things over?”

“I don’t know! Shh!”

They were pressed together, trying not to touch the grimy walls or focus on the stench. The man looked down at the woman and smiled. 

“I love you, you know,” he whispered.

The woman blinked and gave him an annoyed look.

“You decided to tell me you love me for the very first time in a filthy port-a-john while there’s a bear outside?”


“Ugh. I love you, too.”

The port-a-potty rocked as the bear pushed it. 


“This…is gonna be…”

Then, the port-a-potty/vessel of love was pushed over completely, and the lovers had a lot of shit to deal with.

Elyse Russell enjoys writing short stories and graphic novels. She loves naps and cheese. Look for her creepy short story, “This Girl is Ours,” in the upcoming summer issue of Last Girl’s Club. Follow her on Twitter @ElyseRussell13  (BraveLittleTeapotThoughts).