By Jim Freeze
[The Pearly Gates Insurance Com.]
Underwriting Division
Dear Patron,
I am writing in response to this morning’s request for forgiveness. Please note, we’re sorry to inform you that you have reached your quota of sins. We tried to flex the rules, but our records show that since employing our services you have aired seven times in the area of greed, and your prayer life is substandard when compared to others of like age and circumstance.
Further review reveals that your understanding of doctrine is in the lower twenty
percentile, and you have excessive tendencies to gossip. We regret to inform you that because of your sins you are a high- risk candidate for heaven. You understand that grace has its limits. Jesus sends his regrets and kindest regards and hopes that you will find some other suitable form of coverage.
Holy – Holy Yours, Peter
Jim Freeze is seventy-five years old, retired and widowed. He was happily married for fifty-four years and has two grown sons. He began writing in early 2012 to have something to do. His short stories have been featured in many publications including—–(Brilliant Flash Fiction, Calliope Magazine, The Original Writer and Literally Stories.)
The Birdseed 